self hatred
like hellI've led myself to believe the more hardship one faces the stronger they become. It's a lie but one i told myself everyday. Is there something wrong when everyone can be screaming around you and you dont even flinch? It's like ive become numb but i still feel, i feel pain i feel it all the time. It doesnt matter what happens or how many more things i fail at i'm still going to feel just the same. Admittedly ive felt worse, ive wanted to die, ive tried, but isnt that normal? I feel so selfish, so ashamed it's not like anything that bad has even happened to me. I feel like trash theres so many people who have such harder circumstancelike hell
whateverthe proud, the humble, whoever, everyone to afraid to admit, to committ. So insecure in ones own worth, so unwilling to question everything they are. To God they cry, in anguish and blame for nothing could ever be one's own fault. Desperation and compassion to all who read, but motivation and simple anger to all who blame for faults of their own. Free will, perhaps the most controversial of all controversy. We are left to defend, but defend what? Lay down submit, toss all pride aside, for who are you? what does the world possibly owe humanity, does not humanity owe it? Satanism, do you think you can beat God? self pitty in the most mutilatingwhatever
fear, faith.
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